almost half way

I am 18 weeks. Yay! It's going by sooo fast, but yet so slow at the same time. Just thinking how much time I still have to go through, all of the time I still have for things to go wrong, is a little daunting. I'm still hoping for the best, and preparing for the worst. I am back to work, at least part time. I'm hoping to get back to full time because, honestly, money is getting tight around here. Oh well, I just keep thinking that we will get through this somehow and things could be sooo much worse. Keep the prayers coming, I feel everyone's support.

Hoping I'm not jinxing myself

Drum roll please...... It's a girl!!!! We officially found out a couple of weeks ago, even though I've had a feeling all along. I had a feeling with Ava, Gracie, and this little one. When I told Danny, he was speechless. He wasn't disappointed, I think a little overwhelmed. He will be even more outnumbered by women in the house. We haven't even brought up one single name yet. Ava was the only name (not exaggerating) that we agreed on. With Gracie, it was a struggle, and we finally compromised on the name in the hospital. He picked out the first name and I got the middle. I have some names in mind for this one, but I already know they will be "vetoed" right away :).
I have already picked out fabric for the crib bedding and curtains. I hope I'm not jumping the gun. I never bought anything for Gracie, so I'm worried bad things will happen. I hope not. I'm already so in love with this little girl, but we still have a LONG way to go.

Wow, lots to catch up on

I have been a total slacker lately. To be honest, I've had other things on my mind and have been down right lazy. Our Christmas was great and our family Christmas party was a lot of fun. The highlight of the show was the talent show. Every year all of the kids do there "talent". Ava's as playing her harmonica. The girl can rock her harmonica (of course it has to be red, because that's her favorite color). She sat up big and tall on a stool with no shoes on, playing her harmonica. She looked like a little hill-billy up there. Her act didn't end there, she had to "accompany" all of the other kids during their songs. I'll have to upload some pics as soon as I can find my chord in my mess of a house.
Other big news (that many already know about), we're pregnant :). I have to admit, I've been trying to not get very excited just in case I get heart broken again, but it's hard to not look forward to possibly having a new baby in the house. I had to tell my friends at work pretty early on because we had some buggy kids. I can't tell you how much amazing support I have at work. The people I work with are truly amazing. We only told my mom a couple of days before my cerclage because Ava had to spend the night.
That's right, I have already had my cerclage. Not the most pleasant experience, but it had to be done. TMI warning; when I finally got to the OR room and the doctor started doing her thing, she said,"we did this right in time." A normal cervix should be around 4cm, mine was only 0.25cm. No wonder I felt like the baby was going to fall out the past couple of days before my cerclage. I had some bleeding and cramping post op, but I still got to go home that night. I was hoping to only be off of work for a week since I don't have very much sick time left. But of course nothing can go as planned. I started to have a lot of pressure and cramping. So hopefully a month of bedrest will do the trick. I so hope I get to go back to work after my month is over. It's sad, but i look forward to my weekly appointments, just so I can get out of the house.
All of this is absolutely worth it, and I would do it again if I had to (the shots of blood thinner, cerclage, bedrest, and lots of prayers). I'm getting a little nervous though because I'm approaching the same gestation as I was with Gracie when she went to Heaven. I have to keep reminding myself that I have no control over this and have to have trust and faith.