Not much I can say for yesterday

Yesterday started off pretty good. I got to hold my girl one last time on this earth and spent the day with my hubby and Ava. Later in the afternoon, I went out grocery shopping. There were newborns and pregnant women everywhere. I totally lost my focus, grabbed what I had to, and got out of there as fast as I could. After that, I was a complete mess for the rest of the day. I simply couldn't function. All I wanted to do is lay in bed and cry, which I did. Danny and I had originally planned to have a date night last night. He said we didn't have to go, but by late evening I worked up the gusto to at least go out to eat. We brought Ava with us too because I have been really paranoid lately that if Ava or Danny is away from me, something bad will happen to them. Totally crazy, I know. Anyway we got to the restaurant and there sitting right in my line of vision was a brand new baby girl. My heart sank, my appetite vanished, and I couldn't think of anything else but what I would be missing out on come September. Danny didn't know what I was seeing until we were walking out. I have never seen him scoop Ava up and walk out so fast in my life. There was a fried of his sitting behind the family, and he didn't even acknowledge them. I think he just wanted to get out of there as much as I did. It's something that we will just have to get used to. I'm really worried about going back to work. There are babies, losses of babies, and pregnant coworkers everywhere. This is definitely harder than I thought it would be.