Tis the season

For Ava's breathing issues to start up that is. Well, last weekend she got a cold, and I just knew it wouldn't be good. Whenever she gets a simple cold, it hits her hard. I tried to get her through the weekend, so we could go to her regular pediatrician. Last night didn't go too well. I was doing breathing treatments every hour and she started acting air hungry. So into the ER we went. I thought it was kind of pathetic when we were walking through the doors and the receptionist said, "Well, Ava McGraw. Just go straight back." No need for birth dates, insurance, or a name for that matter. I guess we are well known :). They hooked her up to a pulse ox right away, 80%, eesh! It is sooo scary being on the other side of things. Seeing her going thought what I would consider simple things at work made me want to cry. Of course it doesn't make it any better that I think of the worst things imaginable. I always worry they will find something horrible (CF, diseased lungs, heart defect, pulm. HT) just to name a few. It's horrible knowing everything that can happen. Things just run through my head: "no, her heart doesn't seem too big", "are her fingers starting to look clubbed?"
The doctor couldn't get over how well she sat with her continuous nebs going through her mask. I almost took a picture of her, but she looked pretty pathetic. I think she sat so still because she could finally breath. I was doing fine until I looked over at her with her mask on and retracting back to her backbone and she said, "mommy, I love you." Oh, the tears started flowing. I think about my great friend, Julie and all she went through with Livs. She told me once that the only time she ever cried was when she was on the general pediatric floor. She had to see her little girl go through the unimaginable, and here I am crying over a mask. Oh, I would sooo be one of those moms that every nurse prays they don't have to take care of:).
It seems like it is taking more and more to get her through these episodes which is scary. We used to be able to do an albuterol and oral steroid. We are now up to continuous nebs and IV steroids. The doctor also thought she may have the beginnings of pneumonia, so antibiotics were started as well. Please pray these things start working, so I can have my energy filled, dare devil little girl back.